went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
