he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
