so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
