those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
