i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
