I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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