I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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