im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
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