fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
