I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
