seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
