I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
