i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
