4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
