My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
