Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
