He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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