What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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