I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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