Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Randomize
