I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
