My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
