just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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