And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
well, you know. whores of a feather.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
