Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nicole vs. Life
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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