I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
