dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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