Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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