First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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