Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
