i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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