We're facebook friends in real life
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
