Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
