its not stalking. its research.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
