Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize
