i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
