I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
