im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
