New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
