Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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