the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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