now i know why i became what i already was.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
