Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
