In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
