We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They took my balls.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
