how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
