hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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