so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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