Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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