Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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