it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
