I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
