She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
