pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
