Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
