I wanna bring you to show and tell
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
