You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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