sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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